The Big Book has a story about an American Indian woman who got sober, she worked as a prostitute undercover for a while. Her bf didn't know about her other life. Indian people are very spiritual, I did a sweat lodge in rehab, it was somewhat transformative. This made me think about Ken B's story, he was a corporate attorney in the Silicon Valley section of town. Life wasn't that great for him, his dreams of becoming a real trial criminal attorney seemed to vanish along with his stacks of billable hours over the years. He was a binge alcoholic during his frat boy days as well as during Law School. The stress and anxiety of having 2.2 kids and high leverage, being mortgaged to the hilt along with the private schools for junior stretched his family out quite thin. Xanax seemed to take the edge off as well as shots of vodka on what turned out to be a daily basis. His wife did an intervention because she was sick of his shit as well and this included receipts from the various strip clubs in town. In rehab they made it clear to him how important getting a sponsor or spiritual advisor was after his 28 days. He didn't want to let the firm know of his problems, as far as they knew he was on an extended vacation on the bedside of his sick aunt. In his world it was very important to keep up appearances and what other people thought of him was always a big deal. That is why he chose a group outside of his home town, he wanted to keep everything discreet, low profile and way under the radar. Ken developed an instant affinity toward a man named Barrett, he was confident, affable and seemed to be more then willing to help. He asked him to be his sponsor and was intrigued by his insight as well as his many admirers. Barrett had a fb following dedicated to recovery and explained to Ken how his advise varies depending on who his client or sponsee is. In other words sometimes he recommends marijuana maintenance and other times he found it plausible to become a spiritual mentor to the vulnerable female newcomers and sex always seemed to be part of the equation. They had a bond that developed into a deep friendship, Barrett was over his house all of the time and the sky seemed to be the limit for Ken and his new found freedom and sobriety. Things seemed to pick up at the firm as well and this included a bonus check and talks about becoming a partner. Life seemed to be turning out fairly well in the Silicone Valley section of town. The only problem was that it didn't take long before Ken noticed that his wife may be having an affair with his new sponsor. As an attorney he wasn't unwise to the ways of certain behavior patterns that would seem to indicate certain actions. He didn't want to believe it and in his mind at that moment denial sometimes was the best strategy. The truth might have been too much for him to bear and deal with and he knew this. Things took a turn for the worse when intimate details of his 5th step, specifically his sexual life got back to him. Apparently the word behind closed doors was that that Barrett was a lowlife and a weasel that had a track record because he broke every cardinal rule in the book. Ken knew that it must have been his sponsor that leaked this information because nobody else knew about this including his wife. That was another dagger in the heart of Ken, at this point he stopped going to meetings completely. He then proceeded to purchase a spy cam to see what his wife was really doing. Its one thing to have suspicions but to actually see it, that took Ken to a different level of misery. Ken was able to witness his wife having sex in his own bed that he usually only shared with his her. It was infact true, Barrett was a real piece of work. He had nobody to tell him that his new sponsor was a lowlife and a weasel, he also had nothing to compare him to. Ken doesn't remember much except buying Vodka and he also seemed to remember that he went against the rehabs advise by not throwing out all emergency stashes of meds and this list included his Xanax. He woke up what he was told was 2 days later, he apparently went for a drive with a 2.8 bal and ran into a station wagon that killed a mother and her 2 children. The third child was in critical condition, the husband walked away without a scratch. The Xanax that he took seemed to influence this blackout as well. Suicide was the best option for Ken, at least this is how he felt. While incarcerated his wife filed for divorce after she told him that her lover Barrett embezzled close to 275k from their joint account. That was everything they had, no mutual funds just savings, the crash of 08 had them learn this lesson the hard way. She did tell him that her affair was over at least, and criminal action would soon be taken against her former lover and his former spiritual advisor. Since Ken never officially fired him he was still his spiritual advisor. The criminal proceedings were a nightmare for everybody involved. The husband wanted Ken to go to the electric chair or better yet the firing squad, whatever would inflict more pain so a firing squad meant that it would probably be over too soon. While incarcerated Ken had a white light experience. It came through him like a ton of bricks. The voice said "no human power can relieve our alcoholism but god could and would if he were sought- we cant always rely on other people for spiritual guidance." His obsession for booze and pills vanished immediately, he was sober from that day forward. As a lawyer why wasn't Ken smart enough to do due diligence on his spiritual advisor? He tried, things looked good on line, he was also told to get a sponsor right away as well. He trusted the people in rehab as well as the process but nobody ever pulled him aside to warn him of this moral reprobate who had a strong influence in sending him over the edge. Ken was doing this undercover in a different section of town as well, nobody knew him well enough to take him under their wing to warn him of a predator like Barrett. In the end Ken stayed sober by learning that people don't get us sober only god does. Sometimes god doesn't always work effectively through others, unfortunately Ken found this out the hard way.
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