Socrates had a quote "Know Thyself"- Scott Peck MD in The Road Less Traveled has a section called "Knowing Yourself"- What I took out of this section was that maybe a little ego deflation isn't so bad after all. He states that self love is good however protecting ones self esteem at all costs may not be that healthy. Most of the malignant narcissists he has encountered over the years have had a tendency to do this as well as to "exterminate the evidence"
This reminds me of one case study about a man named Kenneth L. Ken is 46 years old and is from Southport Ct. He has been in and out of rehabs his entire adult life with 2 dwis and alcohol awareness eductation as well as court madated probation based IOP. He comes from a dysfunctional family with plenty of blame to go around. His addictions include alcohol, cocaine, benzos, gambling, hookers, cigarettes the list goes on. His family are direct descendants of the Mayflower types that go back to the 16 and 17 hundreds, he has inherited an abundance of pernicious usury. His days include gambling, going to strip clubs as well as verbal altercations with many others. Kenneth has a lawyer on retainer as well as two therapists, the one that tells him what he doesn't want to hear doesn't get that much attention.
Kenneth longest period of abstinence was 90 days, this was the amount of time he spent in a long term luxurious rehab outside of the Hills of Beverly. He has no real friends but has a few phone numbers from some acquaintances that he has met in some of the various rehabs he has attended over the years. He tried AA but that never seemed to work out that well. As of late he has convinced himself that time away from drugs, booze and inveterate gambling doesn't really matter, the only thing that does matter is the here and now, the present moment since its one day at a time anyway. When things get really bad he just checks himself into a sober companion detox without the institutional environment as well as without all of the bells and whistles of a pych ward or detox that is usually part of an emergency room or state run facility.
The last detox was especially brutal, not only did Kenneth feel like dying, he almost did. That is when the sober companion Michael hung up his business model, too much liability. He didn't need anybody dying from a Xanax withdrawal on his watch. Michael realized that he would more then likely be going back and fourth to court for the rest of his natural born days explaining a death, especially from somebody like Ken with his wealth and connections. Michael flat out told Kenneth that he needs to give AA a real shot this time otherwise he more then likely will be dead fairly soon. Kenneth took this advice to heart and proceeded to the local men's group that he has been in and out of for years. Does anybody want to put out a topic? Kens hand shot up like wildfire- He stated that "he was sober and was ready to become a sponsor because time doesn't really matter because the only thing we really have is today". As far as a topic how about we will make it about me? Jake shot his hand up and stated "Ken you are basically totally full of shit". Jake knew Kens sob stories from his years of coming in and out basically saying the same thing over and over again..
After the meeting Kenneth confronted Jake and stated "you have a lot of balls talking to me like that and embarrassing me in front of the group, don't you know who I am"? Jake shot back "Around here we don't care who you know or who you blow, we don't care how much doe you are worth, we shoot straight from the hip and straight from the heart because nobody is paying us by the hour." He continued on "you need to put your grandiose ego in the ashtray and take some suggestions for a change". Maybe if you weren't so busy playing the blame game and focusing on yourself somebody might say something around here that could possibly save your life." "Kenneth respected his audacity and asked him to elaborate. Jake stated "time does matter, the problem with your cushy rehabs is that they are in in for the buck and they take no prisoners. It clearly states in A Vision for you that one cant transmit something that they don't have. These dual diagnosis rehabs are treating this disease from an acute care racketeering standpoint where they don't mind if you come back again and again and some of these places even encourage this. They dope you up on meds and make a fortune doing it. Why don't you take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth for a change." You probably don't need to save the money but why pay these rehabs a small fortune when you can put a few dollars in the basket instead." That is what I am doing right now Kenneth shot back. Jake continued on "Around here we don't put band aids on permanent problems that only seek short term solutions with an expectation that we will see you again very soon. We don't take bs and we are in this for the long haul. The problem with you rehabbers and therapy boy wonders and all of this New Age electric magnetic vibe energy jargon is that you never got sober to begin with. You are being enabled and this disease is being sugarcoated to protect your fragile self esteem". Getting a white chip is not the walk of shame but rather the international sign of surrender and the potential for life long sobriety. Its a celebration that we encourage and empower people with.
Jake continued on "Also some of these rehabs are very good and they shouldn't be judged for other peoples failure to comply. If somebody doesn't follow up and do aftercare then they need to take responsibility for their own actions because that is what growing up and getting sober is all about. Just because their is over an 80% recurrence rate after rehab one year later how and why is this the rehabs fault? How can these places even use this as a statistic as far as gauging the success of one facility or another? If the rehab isn't pushing for aftercare that is where they would be considered negligent". How do you know all of this Kenneth asked-"I have been around the block myself , have visited the sword of Damocles up close and personal and don't feel like ever doing this again." Can you be my sponsor Kenneth asked- "Yes, no problem Jake stated, just for today"
This reminds me of one case study about a man named Kenneth L. Ken is 46 years old and is from Southport Ct. He has been in and out of rehabs his entire adult life with 2 dwis and alcohol awareness eductation as well as court madated probation based IOP. He comes from a dysfunctional family with plenty of blame to go around. His addictions include alcohol, cocaine, benzos, gambling, hookers, cigarettes the list goes on. His family are direct descendants of the Mayflower types that go back to the 16 and 17 hundreds, he has inherited an abundance of pernicious usury. His days include gambling, going to strip clubs as well as verbal altercations with many others. Kenneth has a lawyer on retainer as well as two therapists, the one that tells him what he doesn't want to hear doesn't get that much attention.
Kenneth longest period of abstinence was 90 days, this was the amount of time he spent in a long term luxurious rehab outside of the Hills of Beverly. He has no real friends but has a few phone numbers from some acquaintances that he has met in some of the various rehabs he has attended over the years. He tried AA but that never seemed to work out that well. As of late he has convinced himself that time away from drugs, booze and inveterate gambling doesn't really matter, the only thing that does matter is the here and now, the present moment since its one day at a time anyway. When things get really bad he just checks himself into a sober companion detox without the institutional environment as well as without all of the bells and whistles of a pych ward or detox that is usually part of an emergency room or state run facility.
The last detox was especially brutal, not only did Kenneth feel like dying, he almost did. That is when the sober companion Michael hung up his business model, too much liability. He didn't need anybody dying from a Xanax withdrawal on his watch. Michael realized that he would more then likely be going back and fourth to court for the rest of his natural born days explaining a death, especially from somebody like Ken with his wealth and connections. Michael flat out told Kenneth that he needs to give AA a real shot this time otherwise he more then likely will be dead fairly soon. Kenneth took this advice to heart and proceeded to the local men's group that he has been in and out of for years. Does anybody want to put out a topic? Kens hand shot up like wildfire- He stated that "he was sober and was ready to become a sponsor because time doesn't really matter because the only thing we really have is today". As far as a topic how about we will make it about me? Jake shot his hand up and stated "Ken you are basically totally full of shit". Jake knew Kens sob stories from his years of coming in and out basically saying the same thing over and over again..
After the meeting Kenneth confronted Jake and stated "you have a lot of balls talking to me like that and embarrassing me in front of the group, don't you know who I am"? Jake shot back "Around here we don't care who you know or who you blow, we don't care how much doe you are worth, we shoot straight from the hip and straight from the heart because nobody is paying us by the hour." He continued on "you need to put your grandiose ego in the ashtray and take some suggestions for a change". Maybe if you weren't so busy playing the blame game and focusing on yourself somebody might say something around here that could possibly save your life." "Kenneth respected his audacity and asked him to elaborate. Jake stated "time does matter, the problem with your cushy rehabs is that they are in in for the buck and they take no prisoners. It clearly states in A Vision for you that one cant transmit something that they don't have. These dual diagnosis rehabs are treating this disease from an acute care racketeering standpoint where they don't mind if you come back again and again and some of these places even encourage this. They dope you up on meds and make a fortune doing it. Why don't you take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth for a change." You probably don't need to save the money but why pay these rehabs a small fortune when you can put a few dollars in the basket instead." That is what I am doing right now Kenneth shot back. Jake continued on "Around here we don't put band aids on permanent problems that only seek short term solutions with an expectation that we will see you again very soon. We don't take bs and we are in this for the long haul. The problem with you rehabbers and therapy boy wonders and all of this New Age electric magnetic vibe energy jargon is that you never got sober to begin with. You are being enabled and this disease is being sugarcoated to protect your fragile self esteem". Getting a white chip is not the walk of shame but rather the international sign of surrender and the potential for life long sobriety. Its a celebration that we encourage and empower people with.
Jake continued on "Also some of these rehabs are very good and they shouldn't be judged for other peoples failure to comply. If somebody doesn't follow up and do aftercare then they need to take responsibility for their own actions because that is what growing up and getting sober is all about. Just because their is over an 80% recurrence rate after rehab one year later how and why is this the rehabs fault? How can these places even use this as a statistic as far as gauging the success of one facility or another? If the rehab isn't pushing for aftercare that is where they would be considered negligent". How do you know all of this Kenneth asked-"I have been around the block myself , have visited the sword of Damocles up close and personal and don't feel like ever doing this again." Can you be my sponsor Kenneth asked- "Yes, no problem Jake stated, just for today"
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