Journey Not A Destination

The first thing one must do is admit that their is a problem and then address this issue head on. That is what the recovery world is doing by attempting to clean this mess up. In a program of rigorous honesty there is nothing worse then unscrupulous individuals that engage in act of deceptive marketing. We have an opiate crisis and peoples lives are on the line, these shysters have to go. They either have to be regulated out of business or put in jail. There is so much money being made in this gold rush that many places are being opened up as pure profit centers as their number one motive. This is why many places have their client piss in a cup and have it sent to the lab three times a week. In an environment that has 24/7 techs and supervision there is no valid reason to send anybody's piss to the lab and have them do a multi pronged 50 panel analysis on a regular basis. Labs are important and necessary however especially when one isn't using them as a pure profit center but still needs to find out if somebody is getting high or not specifically with substances that don't register with a regular 7 panel drug test. The Fla Legislature has created a series of new laws that make bait and switch internet marketing a felony. If blatant fraudulent marketing is involved where a person makes a materially false or misleading statement knowingly and willfully this will now be categorized as a felony. There are web marketers that advertise in various states with the full intent of leading somebody down into the swamp pit of South Fla. If parents aren't educated about what real recovery entails this is how many of our 20 something addicts are now ending up dead. Recovery is a journey and not a destination, this means that sober homes need to start to marketing all of the positive aspects of how a sober living community can help people to get and stay sober. This is why FARR is a great program because their recovery  house recommendation  is based off of the California model of Sober Living which has been around for many years, since the inception of AA itself which is over 80 years. Sobriety isn't a race but rather it's a way of life. This is why one can effectively live in one of these communities for an extended period of time and then proceed to become part of the solution rather then the problem. Most of the people are in the business for the right reasons because they care and they take it personally when they see slime balls hinder the chances of one getting sober. As the business gets cleaned up real marketing will take place where one can track recovery rates the way that rehabs try to do. The best thing a sober home can do is test regularly because you are giving the client the best chance to acknowledge the severity of their illness. If one cant stay clean in a sober house this should be red flag 101. This is why labs are very important to test for synthetic and over the counter drugs. Kratom etc.. Now Deadly Adulterants are coming into play. Mark Gold MD explains in the new Sober World how drug dealers are now making their own heroin and carfentanil with clandestine labs. A lot of these pills are counterfeit but still get you high and can and will kill you because they are being laced with fentanyl analogues. One gram of pure fentanyl can be cut into 7,000 doses for street sale. The Mexican Cartels have figured out that fentanyl analogues is much less expensive to produce with their own labs and when the demand to get high is still going to be very strong their will always be an angle to exploit this.  K-9's and police officers that have been passively exposed to fentanyl and carfentanil have od'd.  Mark Gold goes on to explain how Bath Salts and Synthetic weed have come back into play as well. Many people end up in the er's tripping their brains out from synthetic weed, it states right on the package that it is not fit for human consumption. These deadly synthetic adulterants are now being laced with many of the drugs so now addicts more then ever aren't going to  know exactly what they are  getting. A lot of times this is part of the rush for the addict, the deadly game of playing with their own life. Molly is a perfect example of this- MDMA- and whatever else that is in that drug seems to work quite well especially during Raves. I own mysoberteam but if somebody called me up I wouldn't try to lure them down here first and foremost. One must always do what is in the best interest of the client. Many people got sober by going to their local AA with no rehab detox etc or without any geographic changes. The only thing you have to do is change everything but don't make any major changes within the first year. I would recommend that people don't come down here, but if they do and want to get sober their will be a lot of positive encouragement and support.. 

Born Fighting

Apparently I am Scots-Irish and my people went to Appalachia to settle. That is why I am not into the noble elites with their noses up in the air like many of the people that are clearly affected. The affected types who are natives of Greenwich where money is their god, most people know who I am referring to. Instead of being higher powered they are powered by the devils green. James Webb should be our President. He is one of the fiercest warriors this country has ever known. In reincarnation times he would have been standing right next to William Wallace. I don't have as much respect for Robert The Bruce because he took out Comyn. The only reason that this is somewhat understandable is because he tried to take him out once. The Bruce found out who his fiercest rival was and then proceeded to murder him in cold blood. At least Wallace was taking people out with honor to avenge the murder of his wife, he was also fighting for the freedom of his people. Thou Shalt Not Kill- Their is no real honor in killing another man, that is why The Bruce has now been effectively downgraded many notches as far as the list of great leaders. The list of great Scots Irish leaders are many- Daniel Boone, Davey Crockett, Lewis And Clark, and at least a dozen of our Presidents- A major portion of both the Confederate and Union Armies, they have been Americas bravest, the Scots Irish, the first to show up for all of our wars, the working class. Our military leaders- Stonewall Jackson, Patton, many Marine Corps Commandants and generals, the list goes on. We cant forget about how many of these great leaders fought in the Revolutionary War. We are also great writers, artists and musicians. Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe, Jimmy Stewart, John Wayne etc.. I am more Confederate then Union but we never were really fighting over slavery. The problem is that too many of our people have been killed in our wars especially the Civil War. I don't see it as a means to end its more like an exercise in futility. David Hackworth, another one of our countries fiercest leaders was also part of this clan. He was anti high brass military establishment and he let them know it. He spoke out against the Vietnam War, he was one of the highest decorated soldiers of the 20 century. He died of Agent Blue instead of Agent Orange. Their seems to be no great honor to fight and die for the establishment. Hackworth was a great writer and was also co-founder of VT- That is why I now know for sure that VT is legit. Our Potus let me down in a big way because he is from the Scots-Irish clan but he acts like he is part of the establishment. Lose the suit and lose the act, he went over to Scotland and called one of the farmers a slob that was obstructing the view of his new golf course. You cant make believe that you are something that you are not, that is why James Webb should really be our President. He would be able to make our country great again. I know for sure that he would never escalate unnecessary conflagrations and he would also never lie to us. That is the Scots Irish way that is fierce, loyal and fueled with honor, it is also highly spiritual. I went to Richards about 10 years ago to shake his hand, he stopped by early but  had to leave. I know that he was highly critical of the Bush cronies Iraq War as well. He wasn't particularly interested in having a picture with Bush and his son. He was angry and wanted to have his son out of Iraq. Webb is a prolific writer and should have been the Democratic nominee for President. He wasn't interested in being VP for Obummer- He is one of the few pure and real leaders out there. Most salt of the earth Scots Irish warriors don't go into the dirty world of politics

Survival Of The Fittest

The know it all was the first one to fall. After watching a few episodes of Naked And Afraid I couldn't help but notice what a petty narcissist know it all this one guy was. He claimed to be among the best in the world as a survivalist and wasn't afraid to let everyone know this especially his partner. For starters nobody is ever supposed to toot their own horn, humility is always the key to success. If you are any good at something people should find out about this on their own and not by you telling them. Secondly one of the four agreements is to never make assumptions, this means that you take off your teacher instructor hat while doing something for real and take a dose of some humble pie instead. One of the best operators out there from a unit that was so dark and deep that not that many people ever even heard of them told me this. He said if you think that you are the best their is always somebody better. The program teaches us that we don't have to be the best est of anything, just a mere mortal and let the chips fall where they may. So this clown in Naked And Afraid kept instructing when the actual scenario started instead of shutting his mouth and listening. You can't  assume that your partner knows less then you, the only way to find out is to lay low and listen, you don't even have to ask that many questions either to find out what somebody is really all about. That is what good spies do, they do a lot more listening and definitely a lot less talking especially about themselves unless that is what their role requires. So this guy didn't ask any questions and kept rambling about how to survive out in the real world of the jungle and then he was the first one to fall. He ended up with three different diseases like malaria, the whole 9 yards. When I came into the program I was a 1 chip wonder and was a little too cocky for my own good but I was also very young. Confidence is the name of the game, cockiness is what gets people in trouble. I didn't have as much compassion for the chronic relapsers either until I became one myself. Karma works in mysterious ways. The partner of this guy didn't appreciate his know it all attitude. You could tell this guys entire identity was wrapped around being a survival guide for a living without decent people skills. A good team player empowers their partner and that is when interdependence comes into play. I would want to do Naked And Afraid and I would listen to my partner and would assume that she is proficient in many things and hopefully she did a little bit more then the average bear. Outward Bound would be a good start. I will be the first one to tell you that I may suck but at least I will try. I rang the bell when I blacked out in the pool during a seal hell week simulation and that is because I am miserable in the water. I also have chronic back issues so the fact that I even tried that at almost 39 is a lot more then what most people would ever try to do. I did ok when I was homeless and I was really hungry, so I have decent training for Naked And Afraid. The other thing is that one can do a train up for something like Naked And Afraid but being homeless was not something I was expecting so this made it that much more difficult. The same operator that told me how important humility was also told me that one always has to be ready for anything and everything because that is what separates the wheat from the chaff. It pays to be a winner, I respect people who are humble and low key. Our Potus is not, he brags too much and it looks as if his business track record is alot more hot air and self promo then real skill. My dad has real business skill, he never fucked anybody over for money either and would never think about some blowhard bull shit Trump University that took advantage of many of the poor folks. That is the difference, one needs empathy to be an effective leader or business person. My dad should have been Potus, I guarantee that Iraq and Afghanistan wouldn't have been handled the way it was either.   

The Cons Who Scammed The Cons

Fed time is known for being relatively laid back and low key. Club Fed isn't always that way however especially while waiting in the various holding dens before the actual sentence. Many of the county jails are filled up with federal inmates that are just waiting for their day of reckoning. This means when the judge slams down his/her gavel to tell the inmate what their fate is. Many times the lawyers have a pretty good idea of what their client is going to end up with but it is mostly up to the judge. That is why its important to pray for a judge who isn't having a bad day. The DA's are definitely part of the process as well, usually their aren't too many surprises. A few cons from Texas decided to con some federal inmates families out of some cash. They set up a faux firm under the phony guise of being real and made it appear that they were able to get some inmates out with a "rule 35 sentence reduction." The only problem is that this is usually a motion that one could file on their own and it doesn't cost any money unless one pays a lawyer but in many cases inmates only have a public pretender. I am surprised that they were able to pull off this con because inmates have a lot of jailbird lawyers around them at all times and are usually wise to the ways of the world. All together they stole 4.4 million dollars from 22 victims. It was set up like an extortion ring, Mail and Wire fraud charges were filed. One con received 19 years and the other con received 8 years for the scam. I was grateful for the advise that I received from my jailbird lawyer friends. The advise was sincere,  I am a drug addict but I am not naïve to how people act when their motives appear to be genuine. That is why many of the people that are locked up aren't hard core criminals and predators and many have a chance of being rehabilitated. They need to be in a program on the inside, either AA, something vocational or Smart recovery otherwise their chances are much less then average. The system sets people up for failure on the inside and also when they get out, it appears that society doesn't want them to succeed. Jobs need to be lined up for these people and they need to waive felon record laws for people that have demonstrated their ability to change while they were incarcerated. The system is making a fortune because people cant find a decent job as a convicted felon so this becomes an exercise in futility, so many  have no choice but to go back to their old ways. Cold Calling in boiler rooms is not my idea of decent jobs. That's almost on the same level as these cons from Texas who conned the inmates families out of cash. 

State Of War

State Of War- James Risen- It was an ok book, I want to read something that cuts to the truth more like American War Machine, I will do this soon. (The Secret History Of The CIA And The Bush Administration) State Of War was a decent book  but Risen made it sound like there was a chance that we took over Afghanistan for reasons that didn't 100% have to do with Opium proceeds. Its a Narco state, it had nothing to do with protecting America from the Bin Ladens of this world. Infact Bin Laden was on the cias payroll, there is a lot of dope coming in and that is why we went in. I am convinced that many of these authors have cover from the cia and that they get the green light to write books that are critical but not overly so. In other words this book talked about the non existent WMD's, Curve Ball, domestic spying programs, non legit intel and Slam Dunk but it doesn't cut all the way to the chase the way that Michael Levine does. Their is a lot of money being made with this opiate crisis so the higher ups had many valid reasons to invade Afghanistan. So basically they claimed incompetence in Iraq and used that as a valid excuse to state why Afghanistan was never kept under control and that is why they need to continue to have the longest war in history. Does anybody really believe that we invaded Iraq and Afghanistan to make America safe from bad guys or that we had  to give these countries a dose of our freedom and democracy? We got a dose all right of some pure high grade heroin and its killing a lot of our people so these criminals have blood on their hands. Someday in the not too distant future these people are going to be held accountable for their actions and this list includes all of the top military officers who green light what is going on with their huge kickbacks. In the interim we need more realistic books, ones that don't have cia cover that make these people look like just incompetent liars not the hard core predators and capitalists because that is who they really and truly are. They knew exactly what they were doing, the plan all along was chaos and destabilization, so when reading this book I was somewhat amused by how they made it sound like the higher ups wanted to stabilize certain regions and were very perplexed by how things seemingly got out of control. When you start out with lies then it becomes  just a snowball effect, it will never end up well. So in our world of chaos and destabilization if you fabricate intel and guarantee that wmds will be found with Slam Dunk but then fall very short of this then what happens? You end up getting a Presidential Medal Of Freedom- Only In America

Deep Cover Program Op Gone Bad

The Big Book has a story about an American Indian woman who got sober, she worked as a prostitute undercover for a while. Her bf didn't know about her other life. Indian people are very spiritual, I did a sweat lodge in rehab, it was somewhat transformative. This made me think about Ken B's story, he was a corporate attorney in the Silicon Valley section of town. Life wasn't that great for him, his dreams of becoming a real trial criminal attorney seemed to vanish along with his stacks of billable hours over the years. He was a binge alcoholic during his frat boy days as well as during Law School. The stress and anxiety of having 2.2 kids and high leverage, being mortgaged to the hilt along with the private schools for junior stretched his family out quite thin. Xanax seemed to take the edge off as well as shots of vodka on what turned out to be a daily basis. His wife did an intervention because she was sick of his shit as well and this included receipts from the various strip clubs in town. In rehab they made it clear to him how important getting a sponsor or spiritual advisor was after his 28 days. He didn't want to let the firm know of his problems, as far as they knew he was on an extended vacation on the bedside of his sick aunt. In his world it was very important to keep up appearances and what other people thought of him was always a big deal. That is why he chose a group outside of his home town, he wanted to keep everything discreet, low profile and way under the radar. Ken developed an instant affinity toward a man named Barrett, he was confident, affable and seemed to be more then willing to help. He asked him to be his sponsor and was intrigued by his insight as well as his many admirers. Barrett had a fb following dedicated to recovery and explained to Ken how his advise varies depending on who his client or sponsee is. In other words sometimes he recommends marijuana maintenance and other times he found it  plausible to become a spiritual mentor to the vulnerable female newcomers and sex always seemed to be part of the equation. They had a bond that developed into a deep friendship, Barrett was over his house all of the time and the sky seemed to be the limit for Ken and his new found freedom and sobriety. Things seemed to pick up at the firm as well and this included a bonus check and talks about becoming a partner. Life seemed to be turning out fairly well in the Silicone Valley section of town. The only problem was  that it didn't take long before Ken noticed that his wife may be having an affair with his new sponsor. As an attorney he wasn't unwise to the ways of certain behavior patterns that would seem to indicate certain actions. He didn't want to believe it and in his mind at that moment denial sometimes was the best strategy. The truth might have been too much for him to bear and deal with and he knew this. Things took a turn for the worse when intimate details of his 5th step, specifically his sexual life got back to him. Apparently the word behind closed doors was that that  Barrett was a lowlife and a weasel that had a track record because he  broke every cardinal rule in the book. Ken knew that it must have been his sponsor that leaked this information because nobody else knew about this including his wife. That was another dagger in the heart of Ken, at this point he stopped going to meetings completely. He then proceeded to purchase a spy cam to see what his wife was really doing. Its one thing to have suspicions but to actually see it, that took Ken to a different level of misery. Ken was able to witness his wife having sex in his own bed that he usually only shared with his her. It was infact true, Barrett was a real piece of work. He had nobody to tell him that his new sponsor was a lowlife and a weasel, he also had nothing to compare him to. Ken doesn't remember much except buying Vodka and he also seemed to remember that he went against the rehabs advise by not throwing out all emergency stashes of meds and this list included his Xanax. He woke up what he was told was 2 days later, he apparently went for a drive with a 2.8 bal and ran into a station wagon that killed a mother and her 2 children. The third child was in critical condition, the husband walked away without a scratch. The Xanax that he took seemed to influence this blackout as well. Suicide was the best option for Ken, at least this is how he felt. While incarcerated his wife filed for divorce after she told him that her lover Barrett embezzled close to 275k from their joint account. That was everything they had, no mutual funds just savings, the crash of  08 had them learn this lesson the hard way. She did tell him that her affair was over at least, and criminal action would soon be taken against her former lover and his former spiritual advisor. Since Ken  never officially fired him he was still his spiritual advisor. The criminal proceedings were a nightmare for everybody involved. The husband wanted Ken to go to the electric chair or better yet the firing squad, whatever would inflict more pain so a firing squad meant that it would probably be over too soon. While incarcerated Ken had a white light experience. It came through him like a ton of bricks. The voice said "no human power can relieve our alcoholism but god could and would if he were sought- we cant always rely on other people for spiritual guidance." His obsession for booze and pills vanished immediately, he was sober from that day forward. As a lawyer why wasn't Ken smart enough to do due diligence on his spiritual advisor? He tried, things looked good on line, he was also told to get a sponsor right away as well. He trusted the people in rehab as well as the process but  nobody ever pulled him aside to warn him of this moral reprobate who had a strong influence in sending him over the edge. Ken was doing this undercover in a different section of town as well, nobody knew him well enough to take him under their wing to warn him of a predator like Barrett. In the end Ken stayed sober by learning that people don't get us sober only god does. Sometimes god doesn't always work effectively through others, unfortunately Ken found this out the hard way.  

Marchman Act

Rising Star- Obama's new 1,400 page book that is way over the top. 1,400 pages, that is the longest and most prodigious book that I have ever seen. I don't know how many pages is War And Peace or the Bible?  I don't think they exceeded 500 to 600 pages so what is this all about? Seriously that is narcissism 101 but I know that he didn't write it. Its like in the rooms when you share anything over 3 to 5 minutes is usually ego and bs. Or when you are asked to speak one should keep it to under 30 minutes because lets face it nobody is that important. My first sponsor cut me off in meetings when I started going off on irrelevant tangents. The writing was on the wall relapse was right around the corner. The only time we should go into our war stories is when we are first asked to speak in early sobriety because we have no extensive recovery to share. Its like the fourth and fifth step it all needs to come out on paper and everybody needs to have a starting point. After that it should be about living in the solution. Its important to share not what others should do or to criticize what others aren't doing because that is self absorbed, pride and ego as well. I now share my experience and what I did to get sober and that's it. No dogmatic spiritual pedestals or wanna be grand poobahs because not only is that the antithesis of the programs principles its also a big turn off for the beginner. I had all of the answers when I came into the rooms and even when I relapsed I was still so full of pride that I hid behind the fact that I had over 20 years at one point. That meant nothing because obviously I did something wrong, 12 years and 3 rehabs, jail and 1 detox not so great. So when I came down to Fla to get sober from jail I didn't jump into the program so I just stayed dry therefore I still had untreated alcoholism. When I did go to meetings I would share about being co-dependent, anything to take the focus off of me getting better or starting all over from ground zero. After I left the sober house I stopped going to meetings all together so I more or less was a loaded weapon just waiting to use again. I believe that the recovery world is doing many things to do what is right. Sober World had some good articles, one was about the Marchman Act. It stated that extensive research has shown that involuntary court mandated treatment as being more effective then voluntary treatment. This is because the disease of denial is so strong  that most people are not going to willingly seek out help, even during an intervention. The article goes on to state that the Marchman Act is still underutilized and not widely understood by families and many treatment professionals. The criminal justice system does their best to sentence people to state mandated treatment facilities as opposed to staying in jail. Most of the probation officers are willing to go to any length to keep you out of jail if they know for sure that your primary issue is alcoholism or substance use disorder. The Marchaman Act makes a lot of sense because people don't have to get arrested to get court mandated, this should potentially save many lives. The only way one will go to jail is if they don't comply with the court order which is mandatory treatment so families combined with the courts are doing their best to give somebody the chance to develop a foundation. My feeling is that if somebody is shooting dope the chances are fairly high that they have the disease of addiction otherwise they wouldn't be sticking needles in their arm.  That's why they should go to treatment after their first od. If they somehow slipped through the cracks and don't really have the disease of addiction but were still shooting or sniffing dope the power to kill themselves still should be taken away from them in the beginning. People usually don't end up as  junkies if their life has always been peaches and cream and for that reason alone they would be able to benefit from a mandatory treatment program..