Thursday, April 18, 2019

Its all In The gait

Walking is mans best medicine- Hippocrates- Its all in the gait- what does that mean? It means that I can usually tell who is walking for health and who is out on the street walking the street- Its more like they make it obvious that they are looking for a fix and that is why the dealer man is attracted to them like a magnet- I was in a self constructed prison set up like a real prison and was looking for a walk.
  I was in the rehab basically on lockdown with no therapy walks even though they were scheduled- I took one anyway and ended up on clinical blackout. I came out of the rehab and was out on the street with plenty of places to walk. Even though I was sober and made the decision I still had a desperate gait and I wasn't walking for strictly health reasons.
  So what's the secret don't drink and go to meetings, meeting makers make it, I think you are full of bs- Tell me more- The only thing that meeting makers make is meetings. Tell me more- Right now their is a lot of duality and separation. Addiction is addiction across the board and that includes cigarettes and nicotine. The ego gradient comes in 3 forms- Separation, lies and blaming at the lowest level- (limited ego) holding others responsible and not having a sense of agency- distortion of  reality, false delusions, this is where one is in full fledge active addiction. The second level is still a form of limited ego- us vs them alcoholics vs drug addicts, ie- I am a drug addict but not an alcoholic, Smart recovery vs AA. That's right Smart recovery is the place to stay clean but if you want to get and stay sober one must come into the rooms. Republican vs democrat- This is where one uses interminantly, binges and gets kicked out of various places-
   One hasn't surrendered to their ego and that is what happens in the third phase of the ego gradient- This is the highest level of consciousness awareness where there is full surrender and universal acceptance and connection. This is where we surrender to win for permanent sobriety and try not to blame and criticize others. Does that mean one is recovered- Yes we are recovered but in recovery and will be to the end of time. Of all ebriosity who does not prefer to be intoxicated by the air he breathes- Thoreau

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